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第24章优于过去的自己（10）
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Someofusmaythinkthatwe'vebeenhurttoodeeply，ortoooften，tive.Butironically，it'sthoseofuswho'vebeenmosthurtthatreallyive，foronesimplereason:likecer，bitternessdestroyitshost.U'sswiftlyrootedout，ittakesholdandgrauallyevenkillingthosewhoinsistongdetermi.
Forthetruthisthatunlesswefive，weeverrecover.Ourwoundswilluetofesterandheaeseproverbputsit，"Whoeverseeksrevengeshoulddigtwograves."
Takiepforsomepeivenessfeelsimpossiblebecausetheyhaveogoaboutit.Thefirstandmostimportantthioacceptisthattheactivegoingtoeasy.Infact，itwillprobablybethehardestthingmostofuseverhavetodo.
&allyunfairthatweshouldhavetivewhenwe'retheoneswhohavebeenhurt.Andthat'sthecruxiveness.
Thesaying&quivea;mayrollofftheto'sasshallowasitisshort.Forohing，it'sdhtimpossible.Foramissesthewholepointivehineedfiveihingswe&#et.Ratherthahemu，weodrawalihem，deliberately2ottoagainstthepersonwhodidthem，andmovingon.
That'swhy，sometimes，theinitialactivenessmayseemrelativelyeasy，butdealingwiththeemotionsthatfolloweverytimeyouseethatpersohemorjustthinkaboutthem，behardertodealwith.Truefiveao;it'saotionaltation.
Andthelongeryouwaittivesomeoheharderitbeereallydoesn'theal，itjustgivesthebitternessaloawayatyoufrominside.Ifyouwaitforthe&quhttime"youmay.
&ionyoushouldaskyourselfbefintotackle3theartivehis:Howmanyofusareeverpletelyiiion?
So，mywife，elia，andIboughtapieceofcheap，flat-paeveure.Forthefirstfewmonths，itfooledeveryowassmart，fundimpressive，atedourhomeperfectly.Butastimerolledby，theveneersloeelattheedges.Itdidn'tcreatethesameimpressioleastitwasbeihefactisthat，likeitornot，behindoursmartveneer，we'realljustchipboard4.Sobeforewebeeotherpeople'sjudgeandjury，we'dbewisetotakealong，hardlookatourselvesinthemirror.Andthemoreweseeourselves，wartsandall，themorewe'llwanttoaiveothersfortheirflaws，andthemive，themorewe'llkment.
Wouldyhtorhappy?Fetasatisfyiion.Soifyouthinkyhtand'tfinditiive，askyourselfthisquestion:Wouldyhtorhappy?
&hehardestthingsabivenessismakingthatfirstmoveespeciallywhespokentothepersonwhohurtyouforaWhile.Butrememberthey'llprobablybehappytohearfromyou.Theymighteveyou'vedohey'vewaodoforyears.Butkeepinmindythisforyoujustasmuchasthem，sodon'tbeupsetiftheydon'treactasyouhoped.
Ofepeopledon'tbelievethey'vedohingwrong，ordon'tcare，sotellingthemyivethemwouldonlyfrustratethemandyou.Butthatdoesn'tmeanyou'tfindfivenessi.Infact，that'swhattruefiveinggerandhurt，beihenedandmovingon.
Themoreyounurtureyourresehemoreunhappyyou'llbee.Unlessyoulearhe"lostart&qu，you'llalwaysremainaviotjustofpeoplewho'ved，butalsoofyourowions.
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