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Themoonwasasliverofcoldsilverinthesmog-chokedsky,castingitsindifferentlightupoy’ssprawling,feverishheart.Inapenthousethatseemedtofloatabovethemundanesoftheworldbelow,twofigureswerelockedinatableauthatwouldhavemadeapoetweeporapriestdespair.
Theairsmelledofexpensivewhiskeyandthefaint,metalligink.SongYiqianstoodbythefloor-to-ceilingwindow,hisprofilesharpandunmovedasablade,thecity’selectricdreamsreflectedinhisdarkeyes.Heheldaglass,theicewithinitcligasoft,solitaryrhythmagainstthesilence.
JiHuaijinwasastudyintrast.Hehadbeen,momentsbefore,awhirlwindofplayfulaffe—apuppynuzzlingathismaster’shand,allwarmthandeasydevotion.He’dbeenchatteringaboutsometrivialthing,hislaughterlightandairy.Buttheatmospherehadshifted,coilingintosomethingtighter,darker,aspalpableasastormfront.
TheplayfullightinJiHuaijin’seyesgutteredanddied.Itwasextinguishedsopletelyitseemedadifferentpersonnowoccupiedhisskin.Thecharming,boyishcurveofhismouthstraightenedintoahard,flatlihegewassoabruptitwasjarring,arecordscratasweetsymphony.
“Youlookatthem,”
Huaijinsaid,hisvoicelow,allthemusiefromit.Itwasastatement,flatandcold.Hedidn’tspecifywho‘them’was.Theadmirers?Theworld?Itdidn’tmatter.Theaccusationwasabsolute.
Yiqiandidn’tturookaslowsipofhiswhiskey.“Ilookatmanythings.”
“No.”
Thewordwasashardofglass.Huaijinclosedthedistaweenthem,hismovementunnervinglyfluid.Hedidn’tgraborshove;hesimplyinvaded,hispresencesuddenlyoverwhelmingthespaciousrooHestoodsocloseYiqiancouldfeeltheheatofhisbody,couldseethedark,possessivevortexswirlinginhisgaze.Thepuppywasgohiswassomethingelseentirely—somethingaandravenous.
“Youletthemexistinyourperiphery,”
Huaijinwhispered,thesoundintimateandthreatening.“Yougivethempiecesofyourattention.Fragmentsofyourtime.Scraps.”
Hishandcameup,nottotouch,buttohovernearYiqian’sjaromiseoftact.“It’swasteful.”
Yiqianfinallyturnedhishead,meetingthatstaze.Aflickerofsomething—amusement?anticipation?—passedthroughhisowncoolposure.Hesaidnothing.
Huaijin’slipscurled,notintoasmile,butabaringofteeth.Theplayfulpuphantom,replacedbyacreatureofpure,unadulteratedobsession.Theloveheofferedwasnotagehing;itwasacagewroughtoffigold,apossessiontotalandabsolute.
“Shutoutthenoise,Yiqian,”
hemurmured,hisvoicedroppingtoavelvetthreat,asinfulpromise.“Allofit.Thecity.Thevoices.Thesixpence-clatteringworld.”
Hishandfinallymadetact,fingersbrushingagainstYiqian’scheekwithatouchthatwasterrifyinglygewasthecalmbeforetheviolation.
“Iwantyoureyestoseeonlyme.”
Thewordshungintheair,notarequest,butadecree.
“Iwantyourmindtounravelforme.”
Afessiontwistedintoademand.
“Iwantyourart,yourbreath,yoursilence—allofit.”
Heleanedin,hiswordsahot,desperatewhisperagainstYiqian’slips,aprayerandathreatiheonlytrutheitherofthemwouldeverneed:
“Letmebeyouronlydamnorientation.”
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